Sunday, 13 April 2014

Shrug Off Shame

Some of us tend to be get embarrassed on behalf of other people in anticipation of possible humiliation. Even more if we feel we share a connection with them. It might be from a misguided sense of responsibility, a weak inner self confidence or our need to be in control of everything. This behaviour damages relationships. We should not project our views unto others to judge them by it.

  • Do not carry a burden that is not yours. If they cause embarrassment it is theirs to carry, you can share connection without taking responsibility for all their actions. Unless you associate yourself by reacting, people tend to be more objective and will most probably not even think of you when assigning blame.
  • Don't react because of the possibility of a reaction. All that you are doing is taking a potential uncomfortable situation and making it unavoidable. Keep in mind that in uncomfortable situations people tend to be highly influenced by the first responders. If you want to help, shrug it off.
  • Accept that which is out of your control and not your responsibility and relax. People handle things differently and many approaches fit the individual. If something doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean it won't for the other. Most moments of embarrassment are fleeting, quickly forgotten. Don't give it much thought.

Being overly conscious of others’ opinions invites doubt and escalates any potential embarrassment for yourself and others. We look back to life events and remember the outliers. Living in a perfect environment is not only impractical, but it robs you of enriching stories that remind you of a life lived and not just passed through.